Living In Doodledom, Part 3
(Published February, 2003)

It's hard to be humble when you're a Doodle. When you live in Doodledom and everything is about Doodles, there's no reason to be humble. Never mind that they are mixed breeds (longhair silver-dapple dachshund and red poodle). As far as they are concerned, Doodle is a breed. And they are the only true specimens.

February 17 will mark three years of Living in Doodledom as we will celebrate the Doodles' third birthday. (If you are new to Doodledom, you can get up to speed by reading Doodledom Parts 1 & 2). Despite the fact that there are 10 dogs here (six purebred doxies, two Doodles, two medium-size rescued mix breeds), the Doodles are clearly centric. It all revolves around them.

Sometimes I think we're living in a cartoon. Live animation. Case in point: The Super Doodles. Greta has to get her rest during the day because she is out patrolling the neighborhood skies at night, fighting evil and protecting the innocent. Of course she wears her Invisibility Cloak so that she can sneak up on the villians undetected. Sometimes she wears it during the day so no one can see her to disturb her nap.

Garbo comes to the rescue, too, when there's a special need. One day Aunt Helene was very happy to see The Super Doodles swoop in to rescue her from the chill of her stalled car that was on the side of the road a few miles away. As far as Garbo is concerned, being a Super Doodle is more about the fashion. She loves to model outfits… her black satin cape being one of her favorites.

Besides her night job as a super hero, Greta has made a couple appearances in television commercials. Ever see the Sierra Mist commercials? Our favorite is the one where a guy comes walking down the street to his apartment building in the heat of the summer… he starts up the stairs and water from his overworked air conditioner drips on his head. He proceeds up to his apartment, opens the door and finds the air conditioner blowing full blast with the windows *open* and his dog lying on the bed in front of the blowing air, belly-up to the world. She looks at the guy and flashes a toothy grin. Next scene shows both dog and master enjoying the cool air in the same belly-exposing position.

Well, OK, so that's not really Greta (the dog's name is Slammer) in the commercial but that dog is a dead-ringer for Greta. Greta swears it's her so we go along with it.

Then there's her appearance in the children's book Pretzel about a very long red dachshund named, of course, Pretzel. He wishes to marry "Greta" (a smooth, grayish black dachshund), but Greta feels she is much too good for him. She doesn't like very long dachshunds… that is until she falls into a hole and only Pretzel is long enough to reach her.

Despite all her high-profile personas, Greta is not without woe. In fact, her adventures are an escape from all her woe. Greta is an empath. Whatever ailment, illness, or discomfort any of us here have, Greta has it, too. It's a curse, but that just adds to the woefulness. One day Aunt Helene (being a woman in the sunset of her reproductive years) experienced one of those dreadful "hot flashes"… moments after disrobing all that she could with decency, we spotted Greta on the cold bare floor in the same position as the Sierra Mist dog. A bad sinus day for any of us and Greta goes through numerous snorting and wheezing sessions – her "deviated septor" (her word for septum) acting up again.

Greta doesn't hesitate in telling you all about her woes. If only someone will listen. Her Uncle Jerry visited in January and she wasted no time in telling him stories of Dickensian proportions. Only he would listen to her. The most notable story being about her dad (the red poodle) dying and leaving her penniless.

Besides modeling (she especially likes things that are festive and functional), Garbo has other responsibilities. Number one is Diddle and puppy duty. The two youngest in our group here are under four months old and the next youngest is a year and half old. Before the puppies came, Katie used to always get blamed for everything (Katie Did It!) and she thinks she's a Doodle but since she's a purebred doxie, she's a Diddle. So Diddle Duty and D.I.T. (Dudes In Training) Duty keeps her very busy. She knows when they are into something or doing something naughty. She immediately races to where they are and growls or barks at them and sometimes pulls them away by the ear or neck scruff.

Her other main job is to help Aunt Helene. She spends a good portion keeping her Aunt Helene's lap warm while she sews our harnesses. Even on Bed Days (when Helene makes the DreamSacks), Garbo is part of the process by testing the cushy-ness of the stack of bed parts.

"Get The Bone" is her favorite game, especially when her TootMom comes home from work. She will ignore the toys and bones throughout the day but as soon as she hears her TootMom's car pull in the driveway (just outside the workshop), she frantically looks for a bone to bring to her. And hence the game begins: TootMom pretending to want the bone and Garbo prancing around, proudly showing it off.

We, too, have responsibilites and rules to follow: DBO ("Did Business Outside") treats must be given to everyone *everytime* someone does business (outside). They usually plan it so that one goes, then every five minutes someone else asks to go out. The rules of Doodle Lunch must be observed (a bite for us a bite for them). Quitting time is precisely at 5:00 PM. If the "time clock" (sewing machine) hasn't clicked off by 5:00 PM, Garbo tells her Aunt Helene it's time to quit by jumping and barking at her. And Aunt Helene must give out Best Buddies (one of their favorite treats) before she leaves. Best Buddies are also required before going to bed for the night. DBN (Doodle Bed Night) must be observed on the weekends (Doodles getting to sleep in the people bed).

And the number one rule of all: Remember that there's no place like Doodledom.