Getting Away With Gorging

Last month’s lead story about Mozart’s narrow escape prompted letters from dachshunds who had figured ways to gorge themselves without paying a penalty. We are publishing this account, from our Dachshund Of The Month, who, by coincidence, is sister to next month’s Dachshund Of The Month.

Ok folks, so what if a guy has figured out how to open a refrigerator … he had to have his stomach pumped. Duh! How smart is that?

Now I, on the other hand, had it made! Hi, I’m TinkerToy, a miniature long hair doxie. Mom sometimes calls me “Food Magnet” or “Sausage on Wheels” amongst other names. She complains that I only live for food. So, I ask you, what is wrong with that? I am a doxie aren’t I? Don’t I have to live up to my heritage?

Anyhow, back to my story. Mom and Dad had to go to Grandpa’s for Christmas and couldn’t take us kids, so we got to stay at Camp Harper. Miz Penny and Mr. Larry are Mom and Dad’s good friends and staying with them is always good for my tummy. We get real spoiled there too.

Miz Penny has a counter where she keeps all of our food when we visit. (Mom asked Miz Penny to not leave food down since I gained 3 pounds the last time I stayed there. Now, I ask you what is wrong with that??? It was good food, I know how to beg real good. But ohhhh no, Mom has to spoil the fun!) Miz Penny put our canned food with a lid on it on the counter after she fed us. She and Mr. Larry took my newest sister Windy for a ride. I was bored and looking for something to eat. Well, the counter is in back of their big couch that we all lay on. I just jumped up and checked everything out. Hey, the can was full and it smelled soooooo good. I took 30 seconds and got the lid off and mmmmm mmmmm good. All that canned food was mine! Still bored, I took the can outside and ate the whole label off. When Miz Penny came home I brought the can in so she could see that she didn’t need a dishwasher cuz I would gladly earn my keep. Miz Penny had no idea what the can was from or what was in it. I did a really good job of cleaning it! She finally figured out what I did and told me she was going to be in real trouble with my Mom.

So, Miz Penny goes out and gets another can of food so my sisters can have it with their kibble. She puts the can back on the counter with a heavy thing on top of it. Not to worry … I can figure this out. I kept using this great nose that I have to push and shove and before long the can was allll mine!! I was in heaven! Two days in a row and I have a happy tummy.

Oh and then to top it all, Mr. Larry fed his big dog and I just went over there and batted my big brown eyes at his dog and he let me, yes …yes, he let me eat as much of his food as I wanted.

Man this was better than Thanksgiving and Christmas and any food type holidays wrapped together!!!

Now I have to admit that I wasn’t interested in much food for a couple of hours. but, at least I wasn’t in any shape to have my tummy pumped.